How to Get an AWDTSG Post About You Removed (State-by-State Options, 2026)

"Are We Dating The Same Guy" (AWDTSG) is a network of hundreds of city-specific, invite-only Facebook groups where members post photos of men they are dating and ask the group for "red flags." If you have discovered you were posted, or you suspect it, this guide covers every realistic removal path: Facebook's own reporting tools, copyright takedowns, direct requests to group admins, and the state laws that give some posts legal consequences. It also covers the step most people miss: the people-search sites members use to look you up after seeing the post.

Key Takeaways

• You cannot sue Facebook or the group admins into removing a post. Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act shields platforms and moderators from liability for what members post — lawsuits against Meta and AWDTSG moderators have so far been dismissed on these grounds.
• The fastest reliable removal is a DMCA copyright takedown, but it only works when the posted photo is one you own the copyright to — typically a selfie or a photo you took yourself. Facebook processes valid DMCA reports quickly to preserve its own safe-harbor protection.
• False factual claims in a post are actionable against the individual poster, not the platform. Defamation suits by posted men have been filed and, in some cases, settled — the viable target is always the person who wrote the post.
• Whether the post is illegal where you live depends on state law. At least 10 states have doxxing-specific statutes (California, Texas, Nevada, Washington, Illinois, Kentucky, Alabama, Georgia, Missouri, and narrowly Louisiana); in the rest you're relying on general harassment or privacy claims. See our full state-by-state doxxing law guide.
• Remove your data broker listings in parallel. A first name and a face is all an AWDTSG post gives away; it's people-search sites that turn that into your full name, home address, workplace, and relatives. Broker removal cuts the thread between the post and your real-world exposure.

What AWDTSG Is (and Why Removal Is Hard)

AWDTSG groups are private, women-only Facebook communities — one per city, with the largest chapters counting hundreds of thousands of members. Posts usually include one or more photos of a man, his first name, and a request for information or warnings. Screenshots of dating-app profiles and text conversations are common.

Removal is hard for a structural reason: the groups are private, so you can't see or report a post you can't access; the posters are anonymous to you; and the platform itself is legally insulated. Every effective removal path works around one of those three walls.

Step 1: Confirm You've Been Posted

• Ask someone with access. Membership is vetted but very large; most men who learn about a post are told by a friend, relative, or new partner who saw it.
• Watch for the second-order signals. A sudden unexplained ghosting pattern, or matches who clearly know things you never told them, is how many men first suspect a post.
• Don't create a fake account to get in. Fake-profile infiltration violates Facebook's terms, gets the account banned quickly, and if you later pursue legal action it hands the other side an easy credibility attack.

Step 2: The Removal Methods, Ranked

1. DMCA copyright takedown (fastest, when it applies)

If the post uses a photo you took — a selfie, or any photo where you pressed the shutter — you own the copyright, and you can file a copyright report with Facebook. Facebook removes valid DMCA-reported content promptly because ignoring notices would jeopardize its own DMCA safe harbor. Photos someone else took of you are *not* covered (the photographer owns those), and neither are screenshots of your dating profile if the profile photo wasn't yours.

2. Facebook Community Standards reporting

Report the post for bullying and harassment or privacy violation. Facebook's image privacy rights form covers photos of you shared without consent in some circumstances. This path is inconsistent — the groups' framing as "safety communities" means borderline posts often survive review — but it costs nothing and creates a paper trail of reports, which matters if you escalate legally later.

3. Direct request to group admins

Every group lists admins. A short, calm message — no threats, no anger — asking for removal of a post that identifies you gets posts taken down more often than people expect, especially when the post contains only vague accusations or has gone stale. Admins moderate at volume and generally remove low-value posts rather than deal with a dispute.

4. Defamation action against the poster

If a post makes false statements of fact (not opinion) about you — invented accusations, fabricated conduct — you may have a defamation claim *against the individual poster*. This is the only legal path with teeth, and it's been used: men in several states have filed suits against posters, and the discovery process can compel Facebook to identify an anonymous poster. Be realistic about the trade-offs: litigation is slow and expensive, truth is an absolute defense, and suing can amplify the post's visibility (the "Streisand effect") before it removes anything.

Step 3: Check Your State's Law

Suing Facebook is a dead end — the January 2024 class action against Meta and AWDTSG moderators was dismissed on Section 230 grounds, like similar suits before it. But the *poster's* conduct can violate state law, and the leverage varies enormously by state:

The details, statute citations, and what each law actually requires are in our state-by-state doxxing guide. Note the common thread: most statutes require publication of *identifying information* with *intent to harm*. A post with your photo and first name asking "any red flags?" usually won't meet that bar; a post publishing your full name, workplace, or address alongside accusations might.

Step 4: Cut the Thread to Your Real Identity

Here is the part almost every AWDTSG removal guide skips. The post itself typically contains a photo and a first name. What turns that into a doxxing-scale problem is that any group member can drop your photo into a face search engine or your name into a people-search site and get back your full name, home address, phone number, employer, and relatives in about thirty seconds.

You can't control the group. You *can* control what the lookup returns:

1. Remove yourself from people-search sites. Whitepages, Spokeo, FastPeopleSearch and 500+ similar brokers are where a first name + city becomes a full profile. Start with our free opt-out guides or run a scan to see which brokers list you.
2. Opt out of face search engines. PimEyes, FaceCheck.ID, and Clearview AI can match a screenshot of your dating profile to every other photo of you online. Each has an opt-out.
3. Harden the dating profiles themselves. Use photos that don't appear anywhere else (no LinkedIn headshot reuse — reverse image search finds it instantly), keep your last name out of your bio, and unlink Instagram.

This doesn't remove the post, but it converts the post from "everyone in the group can find my house" to "a photo and a first name that lead nowhere."

What Not to Do

• Don't post in or at the group. Responses screenshot well and escalate the thread.
• Don't contact the poster directly if you know who it is. Anything you send will be read as intimidation and can hand them a harassment claim against *you*.
• Don't pay "reputation firms" that promise guaranteed AWDTSG removal. Nobody outside Facebook can guarantee removal of a post in a private group; firms making that promise are reselling the DMCA and reporting steps above at a markup.

The Bottom Line

Work the paths in order of speed and cost: DMCA if you own a posted photo, platform reports and a polite admin request in parallel, then state-law pressure on the individual poster only when the post crosses into false factual claims or statutory doxxing. And treat broker and face-search removal as part of the response, not an afterthought — it's the one lever that's entirely in your control.